Comments on: Ask Joan: Lonely Widower Seeks Intimacy

By: Gianna

Gianna — Fri, 30 Aug 2024 19:09:20 +0000

Respectfully, if I were a woman looking for a committed relationship, I’d want to know right away that someone doesn’t want that, so I don’t waste my time. If I was looking for the same thing, however, I’d find his honesty very appealing.

He comes across as an intelligent man looking for the same (not just wanting sex) — he definitely doesn’t need AI to write his profile.

By: Jane Coombs

Jane Coombs — Thu, 29 Aug 2024 14:58:15 +0000

There were a couple of issues in his response. First it was his age restrictions. I am 78 but would be excluded. His loss, lol. Secondly, no commitments. Why bother to add this . It detracts from his appeal.
For myself, I am looking for a fun comfortable relationship. That says it nicely.
My advice use AI to write it. Hold back on some details. We all love a good mystery.

By: maryanne braverman

maryanne braverman — Sun, 25 Aug 2024 14:58:41 +0000

If Lonely Widower only wanted sex, I would agree with you. But he also misses conversation, and perhaps other aspects of companionship, which he needs to articulate. After years of caregiving, I love living alone, without the intrusion of aides, therapists or anyone. But I’d like the companionship of a man at museums, theater, movies, dinners without “commitment.”
Definitely, mourning your loss begins during intense caregiving.

By: Dave 85

Dave 85 — Wed, 21 Aug 2024 09:36:30 +0000

WOW ! What a great, all encompassing reply Joan. Lonely widower typifies the feelings of so many of us older folks who loose their long term partners. Your common sense response pretty well says it all. Thank You !

By: Eda

Eda — Wed, 21 Aug 2024 04:39:50 +0000

Joan is right on target! Mourning does not begin when a person dies, it is part of the “caregiving” you give to your terminally ill spouse. Your need is real and it does not take away from what you had with her. Actually, it is a reflection of that relationship. Do not let anyone tell you how you “ought” to feel or how long is long enough before you enter a new relationship. Your friends cannot take care of your need, only you can.

By: Deborah P

Deborah P — Wed, 21 Aug 2024 00:47:41 +0000

There is no way he is going to tap dance around what he really misses and that’s sex. It’s not fair to a person to say you want intimacy but no commitment. It’s almost ridiculous. Good sex comes with trust and trust takes time. It seems like this man has gone a long time without sex while his wife was ill.
Women don’t want to feel used , most women bond with sex and know what is their place in the persons life ? Interesting conversation does t work for long.