Comments on: Ask Joan: Overwhelmed https://seniorplanet.org/articles-ask-joan-overwhelmed/ Aging With Attitude Sun, 27 Oct 2024 02:34:52 +0000 hourly 1 By: Harvey Lee https://seniorplanet.org/articles-ask-joan-overwhelmed/#comment-528609 Sun, 27 Oct 2024 02:34:52 +0000 https://seniorplanet.org/?p=179105#comment-528609 Harvey 76.
Looks like a more development of companionship, and general bonding. Doing more together taking themselves away from routine more, expose more topics away from the sex road.
Yes, have fantasies and illusions, yes talk but do not make them the only subject. Expand the thoughts and scope, at the end a simple walk and hug might do better than demands at the kitchen table and resultant frustration when 1 side of the marriage says no.

]]> By: Dave 86 https://seniorplanet.org/articles-ask-joan-overwhelmed/#comment-528195 Fri, 25 Oct 2024 21:52:08 +0000 https://seniorplanet.org/?p=179105#comment-528195 Good advice Joan . What a mine field ! His demands are unrealistic and, unreasonable. If he needs that much release, Hot Octopus has some great male sex aids for solo pleasure. As far as the fantasy, is that not the # 1 male fantasy ? For him to ask her to go through with his fantasy so that he can watchand it “will make him hard enough to do it himself.” is very telling. ” Narcisisim ? “he seems incapable of thinking about other scenarios.” They need a couples therapist…him especially.

]]> By: Dave 86 https://seniorplanet.org/articles-ask-joan-overwhelmed/#comment-528189 Fri, 25 Oct 2024 21:20:35 +0000 https://seniorplanet.org/?p=179105#comment-528189 In reply to Herbert.

Sorry Herbert, but to suggest that he fears her ” pulling away completely” sounds kind of silly to me. “Sex every day, sometimes twice a day ” seems a tad excessive don’t you think.? Is there desire or love on his part or simply his need for release ? It sounds like you may have some experience dealing with a similar problem. So have I , not only with the frequency question, but also the fantasy aspect. What worked for us was TALK…alone with each other, and then with a counsellor.
It works!

]]> By: Herbert https://seniorplanet.org/articles-ask-joan-overwhelmed/#comment-527358 Thu, 24 Oct 2024 01:34:54 +0000 https://seniorplanet.org/?p=179105#comment-527358 I see problems with your advice. You make like HE is totally the problem. That is unfair and unprofessional! She shares equal responsibility. Is it possible he insist on daily sex, because she insists on increasing the time between sessions, so now he fears she will pull away completely? This will only lead him to be more insistent. To suggest separate, private practices will further drive a wedge between them. Also, did she tell him of her sexual traumas before marriage? My ex didn’t.

]]>